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Building a Glorious Future!

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Building a Glorious Future!

Excellent news, Guardsmen! Your efforts in fraternising with the Salamanders were so effective that we have seconded your entire regiment as a Voluntary Labour Battalion with the Imperial Fists! Think […]

Excellent news, Guardsmen! Your efforts in fraternising with the Salamanders were so effective that we have seconded your entire regiment as a Voluntary Labour Battalion with the Imperial Fists! Think of it like socialising, except much more enriching and with a much better chance to give you a glorious death!

As part of the Voluntary Labour Battalion, you will have many exciting opportunities. First and foremost among these will be building a very big wall.

Why do we need a wall?

An excellent question ? and one, on this occasion, we will not flog you for asking! The wall is to serve the demands of the Imperial Fists. Any other details are immaterial.

I?m tired of building the defences. Can I have a rest?

Of course! The Imperial Fists have provided several of their unique meditation devices for your use. We are told that a few moments in the Pain Glove* are extremely motivating, with 98% of Guardsmen claiming they feel completely refreshed and ready for work after only two seconds of self-reflection.

What if I die during construction?

Simple! Just as the labour of your physical body grants the wall strength and resilience against the material world, your heroic** death constructing it will grant it spiritual strength. In thousands of years? time, when your name is forgotten and everyone you ever loved or cared for is gone,*** others will look at your remains in the wall and realise that the same fate inevitably awaits them.

Enjoy, Guardsmen!

++ Thought for the Day: Look upon the Emperor?s works and tremble! ++


* Don?t panic! ?Pain Glove? is just a name ? it isn?t really a glove at all.

** Please note that any use of the word ?heroic? in this context is merely for rhetorical effect. Soldiers in Voluntary Labour Battalions are not eligible for any awards for heroism. For more details, see Pamphlet 445B: Medals, Trinkets And Other Vanities Soldiers Endlessly Demand In Order To Do Their Duties.

*** Apart from the Emperor, who is eternal.

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